The walls of patriarchy are slowly crumbling down. The cultural pillars of it are being chopped down by the decolonisation wave that has put paid to Victorian ‘Africanity’. Its economic pillars are rattled by the rise of slayers. Its social pillars cannot whither the ratchet storm. Politically it is formally dead, ethically it never had a leg to stand on, morally it is utterly bankrupt. We impatiently await, and tirelessly work towards, patriarchy’s last breath. As that fateful day dawns, new ways of relating must be imagined. The old ways, most if not all girded by patriarchy, must fall.

Where stands the men’s democratic movement in this future, and the making thereof? In the latter, as our Papacy has laboured, the movement must be in the trenches ensuring that freedom does indeed come tomorrow. The movement must fight for men to be ready and enable them to live in this future.

It is the Alliance’s understanding that “patriarchy is abusive on some of us men who are not interested in leadership, as it forces us to be leaders in families. We want partners to co-govern with; not wives who will submit to us. We don’t want be heads of anything but our lives. If this fails then polyandry must be practiced, and we shall form Governments of National Unity. In the meanwhile, we remain Deputies; without any trace of bitterness.”

This understanding delineates that even the ministry of deputising, progressive as it may be, is but a defence against patriarchy. And from there follows that with the demise of patriarchy, the ministry will become obsolete. This is further bolstered by the fact that the need for deputies also stems from men’s patriarchy-induced handicap in loving women.

Is this then to be the fate of the broader movement? We don’t see why not, as with the demise of patriarchy there’d be nothing to fight for men against. The dawn of the concerted struggle for women’s rights brought to light the unethical foundations of our relations that even the most dunderhead of us cannot deny. The unimaginative amongst us, the likes of AWB and PLOW, have sought to put brakes on this tide, they have clung to every imaginable straw from religion to biology in a bid to deny the naked truth. Some of them just shrug their shoulders, they respect us enough to not attempt a counter argument in favour of patriarchy, and say “it is what it is.” However a growing number of us have put up our hands and said “count me in”, as we work towards the total obliteration of all oppressive institutions.

So indeed yes, the Alliance and the movement at large only has a future in working towards and preparing men for the future, but in that future it has no place.

To this end the movement must rid itself of all the vestiges of the past. By this we do not mean expel these individuals and organisations, but fight for them – as is our mandate – to see the light. We cannot go forward at the pace we are supposed to if we still have in our midst those who will eat away at the gains of the struggle. In this regard we offer as a model our Papacy’s dealing with a defector as highlighted in chapter four.

The Alliance and men’s democratic movement as a whole must offer an olive branch to the women’s and non-binary movements and must not be deterred nor antagonised by rejection, as this rejection would be more than justified given our complicity in the latter’s oppression.

This reaching out must be done because the movement has much to gain from such partnerships. The engagements must be honest and not patronising – the Alliance and the movement at large must not withhold criticism where its due and must accept that this criticism is already compromised by the positionality of who it is coming from and as such must constantly check for blind spots and always be willing to be clarified.

The level and calibre of leadership in the movement has been astounding. Indeed, ever since my resignation as the Pontiff of the Holy Alliance of Deputy Boyfriends, we had been harbouring fears that the nation would be rendered leaderless. That was until a worthy but unlikely Leader emerged from the doldrums of society.

Amidst the confusion caused by Eritrea[8] and the impending Valentine season, coupled with studies and anecdotal evidence to the effect that SA men are failing their women, this Leader has provided clarity. The one and true Leader, Karabo Moroka, went where not many dare to go, publicly and officially demanding to have two husbands. Her decisiveness allayed our fears; we are confident that country has leaders that will take us to the future in which the movement should be part and parcel of working towards.

In this future of working towards a new and brighter egalitarian future the movement can only grow stronger, more organised and disciplined, intellectually and ideologically sharp, and ethically well aligned. Its dissolution will come as a natural result of its victory.


[8] Rumour had it that Eritrea had compelled its men to take at least two wives or face imprisonment. Although it was all a myth, some amongst our duller members were sold on the idea and already planning to emigrate.