The oldest and largest organisation of the men’s democratic movement, the National Association of Husbands And Boyfriends (NAHAB) has as its slogan the words; “Fighting for men, since women’s rights.” These words have been used by both the reactionary and progressive forces in the mass democratic movement.
The reactionaries have used the words as a push back against the fall of patriarchy, they have attempted and unfortunately at some points succeeded in instilling revisionism in the movement and eating at the gains of the sexual revolution. They have enforced an interpretation of the slogan as men fighting against women who have justly asserted their right as human beings and not mere penis repositories or baby vending machines.
These backward revisionists seek to reinstate patriarchy, having no faith in themselves to survive in a world of equals, and view the dawn of women’s rights as an affront to, not the liberation that it is for, all sexes. Hence their reactionary reading of the slogan and of the broader movement.
The progressives on the other hand welcome and support whole heartedly the fall of patriarchy and the dawn of women’s rights. In this vein, they have come to an understanding that patriarchy also dwarfs men’s capacity to relate with women and as such a battle must be waged to free men from this bondage. This is what is understood by “fighting for men.”
Both these forces are locked in a battle for the soul of the movement. As a broad church, NAHAB finds itself at the heart of this battle. To capture NAHAB would be to capture the whole movement.
There are many other organisations to the right and left of NAHAB, where these differing forces have organised themselves. The reactionary organisations are many, including the far-right ones like the Anti-Womanism Brigade (AWB) and Pulane Leftist Organisation of Wankers (PLOW). On the left, one finds progressive organisations like the Brotherly Romance Organisation (BRO) and Masculinist Activists Network (MAN).
AWB is the most reactionary of them all, it has no programme of its own – all it does is to counter whatever programmes feminist and womanist organisations embark on through vitriolic propaganda, terror and sabotage.
PLOW is a collective of bitterists who encourage sexual objectification of women through circulation of nude pictures of women either published by women themselves or leaked by their former ‘lovers’ and hackers.
BRO encourages brotherly love between all sexes through their revolutionary ideology of bromance and see in a woman “a buddy with whom [one] could have sex and children.”
MAN owes its genesis to Dr Chinweizu’s masculinist ideology, specifically the teaching that “every woman has every right to do whatever she wants with her body, except enslave a man with it.” Theirs is to fight for men against nest slavery.
There are also many other organisations that, like NAHAB, have progressive and reactionary elements locked in a battle for their souls. Two such movements worth mentioning here are the National Union of Ben10s of South Africa (NUBSA) and the Blessers Leadership Forum (BLF).
In NUBSA one finds progressives who recognise that older women, in particular those in positions of power, are not receiving adequate sexual service delivery due to either their mates’ triple challenge of sugar-daddyism, absenteeism and diabetes or the reactionary misogynistic backlash against women who are forced to sacrifice social life for success. On the other hand one finds reactionaries who seek to exploit these women as some form of punishment for their success.
The reactionaries in BLF see nothing in their blessees but sex objects; they exploit these women’s economic marginalisation for their deviant sexual appetites. Whereas the progressives realise that young women in particular are economically oppressed and marginalised, and also acknowledge their privilege as old men. They then take it upon themselves to economically empower the young women they happen to be in romantic and/or sexual relationships with.
All these movements mentioned and many more form the men’s democratic movement. The only common denominator is that they all claim to represent men. A question may come as to why the progressives in the movement accept the regressives as their comrades? This is because the progressives realise that these reactionaries are as much victims of patriarchy as we all are, and as such a constant battle of ideas shall be waged until such a time that only an insignificant minority holds on to such backwardness.
The Tripartite Alliance
The progressive forces who currently wield power in NAHAB and NUBSA have joined forces with the uber-progressive HADB to form the revolutionary tripartite alliance. The tripartite alliance has been at the forefront of fighting backwardness in the men’s democratic movement.
In our deputising ministry we have worked closely with these two movements, we lend much needed ideological backing to the progressives therein and in return they have assisted us with their organisational skills and in shaping our message for public acceptance, in true spirit of iron sharpens iron. This is not to mean that there haven’t been a few hairy moments between the organisations. The obvious being that not all members of NAHAB, even the most progressive, are sold on the idea of being deputised – seeing this as an excuse for cuckolding (we deal with this accusation in chapter 3).
There was also one such moment when NUBSA named myself and a leader of NAHAB as some of its “most energetic members” who were “ready to provide sexual services of any kind for free…until the end of this winter season after which we will start charging. Our charges start from a reasonable maintenance of weekend activities with the boys to accommodation and car subsidy.”
Of course this went against the code of selfless service we subscribe to and for the NAHAB leader it was indeed a tall order. However, being sensitive to the importance of unity within the tripartite alliance, we could not just lash out against our alliance partners. The capable leaders we are, we dealt with the misunderstanding in the most exemplary fashion. Below we quote verbatim the careful responses to this mishap which were accepted in the most generous spirit by the leadership of NUBSA and it is also how I came to be the Patron Saint of that organisation:
- NAHAB Leader respectfully decrying the tall order:
“Ao bathong ba Modimo? Ao Jesu? Mariheng a makanakana ho se ho thwe ke lo theolana le diblumara? Ao Ramasedi? But President, I must say, I admire that you showed confidence in me by your nomination, but President, I myself am about to graduate from the Ben 10 stage. President my first round does not even last five minutes anymore, I have to drink beer to last longer. My maximum number of rounds per day is two, anything above that is a punishment on me Mr President, hape ha ke sa beile nnyo pelong Mr President. Is it possible for you to just include me on the profit sharing category and make me head of marketing and admin as well sir? Coz ya ho kota wayawaya yona e tla nhlola Sir. This is my pleasant plea to you Sir, please consider my request for approval. Let it be known that it was never my intention to appear to be defying your authority. I will indeed avail myself to be eaten like the rest of the members, if that is your command Sir.”
- The Pope’s plea for an alternative role:
“But can I, as the Pope of the Holy Alliance of Deputy Boyfriends, a movement which is non-sexiest, non-racist, and non-ageist in character, be excluded from this list. It is unbecoming of a deputy boyfriend to be seen to be offering his services for any consideration whatsoever. This is my humble plea. I will however avail myself as a spiritual leader, should such a request be made.”
The above notwithstanding, NUBSA was again caught flatfooted publicly berating NAHAB in the statement below:
NOTICE TO STRIKE
For immediate release
National Union of Ben10s of South Africa (NUBSA) Cape Metropolitan region to engage on a wildcat strike against the Bae-Soc Winter Bae campaign.
NUBSA Cape Metropolitan region is utterly dismayed, annoyed and taken aback by the recently launched Winter Bae campaign that is anti-working class, anti-majoritarian, anti-poor and ageist in character and form. We say this based on their requirements for a winter bae, being amongst others, ownership of a driving licence, being employed, having a reliable vehicle in their name, and their own place of residence. More specifically the requirement that speaks to our membership which resides with their respective cougars (our constituency).
NUBSA sees this as an on-going offensive and ideological fad and misconduct led by the gold diggers masquerading as “Baes”. We strongly believe that the “make winter warm” campaign cannot be based on one’s material wealth, but purely by the capacity and ability to make winter warm. For that matter, we know that Bae-Soc members, particularly its leadership, cannot afford NUBSA members, hence they rely on the vulnerability of the National Organisation of “Romantic” Men (NORM) members.
The fact that Bae-Soc is able to boldly lead such a campaign, illustrates the level at which NAHAB is limping. As the true vanguard of the exploited working class male youth, we will therefore be embarking on a wildcat strike against this offensive. We call on our members to immediately abort any scheduled visits until this matter of vehicles, employment and ownership of residences is resolved.
Forward Ever! Backward Never!
Issued by the NUBSA Cape-Metro Regional Interim Leadership Core.
It is well-known, and NUBSA was aware, that due to pressure from both the NORM and BLF members inside NAHAB, the latter being some of its most generous funders, NAHAB could not take a decidedly antagonistic stance against the “make winter warm” campaign. In addition, the tripartite alliance had not as yet taken a position on the campaign. As such the veiled attack on NAHAB was unfortunate, misconstrued and unwarranted. And it is a matter of record that the tripartite alliance later endorsed the campaign as visionary.
It is not without shame that we confess that we too made some bad judgement calls in dealing with our alliance partners. In response to a meme of a lady eating off her man’s plate with the pertinent question “Ladies, in a sentence, can you explain why you gotta do this?”, I let out this unfortunate statement: “This is why I’m leaving NAHAB! Bunch of useless cretins!”
It goes without saying that an unreserved and heartfelt apology was offered and graciously accepted. Once again it is testament to the principled unity of the tripartite alliance that these possibly divisive matters were dealt with quietly, internally, and no fall out resulted therefrom.
The men’s democratic movement as a whole and the tripartite alliance in particular continue to face many challenges, but steam ahead we do. In the words of the young lions of NUBSA, “Forward Ever! Backward Never!”
Long Live The Mass Democratic Movement Live Long!
Long Live The Tripartite Alliance Live Long!
Until patriarchy falls.