“Do you know that Patrick is the reason we’ve been married for ten years.” ~ Her Majesty The Queen of Comedy Kansiime Anne, Blessed Friend of the Holy Alliance of Deputy Boyfriends.

Our assumption of the papal office came at a turbulent albeit exciting time in the relations between peoples. It was a time in which clandestine operations became increasingly difficult due to the free flow of information, and redundant due to the spread of libertine ideas. The latter process is however not complete.

We live in a time were old established backward ideas live side by side with new nascent liberatory theories. It is a time in which contradictions and antagonisms have coffee together locked in tense arguments. It’s the interregnum – the dying is not yet dead and the new is not yet born.

It has been the mission of our Papacy to place the Alliance at the forefront of this bourgeoning revolution. We have elected to work amongst our own, to prepare them for the new world that must come, to divorce them from the old world to which some cling so closely to.

In the first instance we worked within the Alliance; we got rid of those wajellwa-phobic psychopaths who masqueraded as deputy boyfriends only because they no longer believed in the possibility of love and sought to use the ministry as a place to hide. We also worked tirelessly to move the work of the ministry out of the darkness and in this fashion formed partnerships with other organisations in the men’s democratic movement.

It is through these partnerships that we were able to empower and embolden the progressive forces within the movement through ideological guidance. Our work therefore reached a greater audience wherein we sought to drag these members into the 21st century.

Thirdly we have sought to bring the message of liberation to the broad masses of our people through our encyclicals and exhortations on major questions of the day affecting the amorous relations.

In all our endeavours, as evidenced in the preceding chapters, were have sought to highlight, commend and amplify the progressive elements/uses of all phenomena in human relations – be it friend-zoning, blessing or Ben10ism – and conversely condemned the reactionary elements/uses of these said phenomena.

This is done with sensitivity so that we do not take away from the people the institutions they have built but rather seek to use these institutions towards progressive ends. We are humble enough to know that we cannot dictate how the people should organise their own relations, ours as the vanguard of the sexual revolution is to engage, advise and critique whenever these institutions are built and/or sustained on the oppression of any group.

Our main failures are that we failed to deal decisively with reactionary elements in the broader movement as we did with the ones inside the Alliance. Also we failed dismally to extend a hand to progressives outside the men’s democratic movement, including but not limited the women’s and non-binary movements. We failed also to advocate for our gay brethren inside the men’s democratic movement.

Only history will judge our trepidation on speaking for the ministry of deputising as a whole instead of the narrow focus on heterosexual monogamous relationships. We know that many of our people in homosexual and/or polyamorous relationships for instance could use the kind of leadership we provided for the men’s democratic movement. However, there has been instances where we did make attempts to speak to the broader populace and we hope that were we erred forgiveness, understanding and guidance will be graciously granted.

We left the papal office intact with both the Alliance and the ministry in good condition. The strides our Papacy achieved are girded on strong foundations and with the sexual revolution in full swing there can only be greater strides achieved. With the fall of patriarchy and homophobia imminent, the ministry is in for an even more tumultuous and exciting time.

We have been to the mountain top; we have seen the coming revolution. We leave the Papacy with no regrets of a job not well done or half done. Our path has led us elsewhere, as such we do not mind that we will not lead the Alliance into the promised land. We are fully confident that the next Pontiff will lead us all to the land of freedom and equality.

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